Loyalty testers on TikTok: Partners are tested for infidelity

“Hey, can you test my friend?” Annett’s alias _.netti._ is how most messages in the inbox start. “I want to know how faithful he is.” He calls himself a “faith tester” and offers his services via Instagram and Tiktok. As the name suggests, these test partners’ loyalty. Such loyalty test videos are already installed on TikTok. Many users volunteer to test their boyfriend or girlfriend. The majority of loyalty testers are women, but there are also men.

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When Annett is asked by a user, the latter will first provide some information about the relationship and partner. The Faith Tester flirtatiously writes to his partner. The question is: How does he or she behave and does he or she pass the loyalty test? Are you going on a date? Do they say they are single or in a relationship? Chat history is sent to the partner and published anonymously on social media. Some videos generate millions of clicks.

Chats of spouses, parents, long-term or short-term relationships have already been revealed, where people responded to them. They often wanted to meet the “experimenter” or said they were single. Other videos, such as Trinity’s, show the boyfriend blocking the tester after messaging him. According to her, the test was later passed.

Depending on the number of videos and comments, the offer is widely used. “We’ve been together for almost four years, have two kids, and I think he’s going to fail too.” One comment said, “It would be interesting to test it.” . “This would never happen to me in my life,” writes user IC.

Thomas and Jeanette Scherer counsel couples together. “We find this method very inappropriate and calculating,” Thomas Scherer tells 20 Minutes. “We all have unmet needs, and almost everyone is vulnerable to them.” Most people don’t recognize these flaws and do things without knowing why.

“In other words: we don’t recognize our drivers (needs) behind our actions.” A couples counselor explains that in the case of a fidelity test, both partners act out because their needs are not being met. “The cheating person needs confirmation, recognition, and importance, while the other person needs safety, clarity, and being seen.”

When asked if it’s cheating to deny a relationship and a date, Sharer replies: “Not from the perspective of the person doing it, but from the perspective of the other person, of course.” But it’s not really about “action,” it’s about unmet needs. “Mostly it’s about recognition, someone is interested in me, I’m important, I’ve seen, I’ve heard – I’m important!”

“If you doubt it to be deceived“Communication is absolutely necessary,” advises Scharer. “When we talk about things like this, it hurts for a moment, but it’s an opportunity – maybe for the first time – from which real things can be achieved that emerge from a basis and the development of a partnership is possible.